I think in life, to an extent, you get two kinds of people.
You get goers and you get settlers.
I originally thought it was more dreamers and settlers but I'm definitely a dreamer yet undeniably a settler as well.
Goers are those who dream big, know what they want and go for it. They come in all forms from budding muscians to wannabe wags but they all have one thing in common; bucket-loads of passion and ambition and one clear goal which they'll do what it takes to reach.
Settlers are realists. Don't get me wrong, settlers have dreams too but they think of things more laterally, their feet are firmly on the ground. They are more calculated and dare I say it, sensible than risk-tasking goers, weighing things up instead of throwing themselves in.
What's my point, I hear you cry?
Firstly, which do you think you are?
It's been bugging me recently because I've always been a dreamer, everyone has ambitions, dreams and goals that they want to achieve in their lives, of course. But recently, I've started to realise that the only thing holding me back is...me.
A self-confessed realist who over-analyses everything in life, worries and panics about the littlest things and can't sleep knowing that I've upset someone.
About a year ago, I did something brave, probably the bravest thing I've ever done and regretted it so since then I sunk back into playing it safe and weighing everything up to the tiniest detail. All my friends will know this as I literally cannot make a decision without being a massively analyetical palava.
Just recently, I did something else brave and took another risk...after literally months of thinking. I don't know if it's paid of yet but it has got me thinking about settling.
I think sometimes life pushes us into settling too easily. We let things hold us back from our dreams, whether these are insecurities, lack of confidence or fear. I'll use my favourite person in the entire world as an example...my Mum.
My Mum always wanted to be a nurse. She would have been an absolutely amazing nurse, guaranteed but because of her dyslexia and her lack of confidence in herself, she never took the training and has spent her whole life regretting it. After fostering/adopting over 20 children, she also spent her whole life missing out on things that she wanted in order to make sure that not matter how little she had, we never went without essentials.
My point is, that it is only now when she is terminally ill that she is doing the things that make her happy that she has wanted to do all her life. Things that may seem like little things to me or you but to see how happy they make her makes me think that life really is too short.
I used to look at some of the goers I know and think they were being completely unrealistic. I remember thinking 'it's okay to dream but are your dreams going to pay the bills?' but it's not like that attitude brings you happiness either. Dreams often stem from passions, passions that make people happy. Does settling make you happy?
There's nothing wrong with being a settler or a goer as long as you are happy. But recently I've realised that putting up with things and being too happy to settle are doing quite the opposite. I've always shied away from my dreams and ambitions for being a realist, insecurities and lack of confidence but if you don't have enough belief in your own dreams then no one else is going to!
The moral of this is, life really is too short. Do what makes you happy and believe in yourself and your dreams.
& never, ever settle for anything less than exactly what you deserve.
mwah. xo
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